For the first time in my life, as he experienced what each man can only experience once.
I looked at his eyes as he gasped for his final breaths. One hand feeling for his pulses and the other holding a stethoscope as I tried to listen for sounds from his heart and lungs.
There was means to supply the dying man with oxygen, no pipes from the walls and no tanks in the home. Contemplating whether or not to attempt my first resuscitation on the unresponsive body, I felt it was at the 95-year-old man's best interest to say goodbye to his mortal sufferings. There was more relief than sadness in me at the knowledge of his passing. Maybe because we were strangers?
Whilst cleaning and changing him for the last time, "He doesn't need to struggle anymore," I joked and a few of us chuckled.
"I'm fine!" when asked, "Joel, are you okay?"
Am I okay, after watching a man die right before my eyes, for the first time in my life?
Can I be? Will you be?
I looked at his eyes as he gasped for his final breaths. One hand feeling for his pulses and the other holding a stethoscope as I tried to listen for sounds from his heart and lungs.
There was means to supply the dying man with oxygen, no pipes from the walls and no tanks in the home. Contemplating whether or not to attempt my first resuscitation on the unresponsive body, I felt it was at the 95-year-old man's best interest to say goodbye to his mortal sufferings. There was more relief than sadness in me at the knowledge of his passing. Maybe because we were strangers?
Whilst cleaning and changing him for the last time, "He doesn't need to struggle anymore," I joked and a few of us chuckled.
"I'm fine!" when asked, "Joel, are you okay?"
Am I okay, after watching a man die right before my eyes, for the first time in my life?
Can I be? Will you be?
Were you?
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