a thousand words

The picture speaks...

Have you ever been in situations where you have so much to say but nothing comes out verbally? Some feelings are so difficult to be put into words, be it written or spoken. And so what if you are able to do so? What if there is no one who cares at all? Have you ever felt being left all alone to fend for yourself? Have you ever felt so rejected that you fear trusting again? Have you ever been so hurt to the extend that physical pain is too easy to bear?

What do you do when the whole world seems to be so cold? What do you do when life doesn't make any sense anymore? What do you do when living becomes a chore?

Why do you even ask for help when no one can? Why do you still struggle when you know struggling is only a waste of time? Why do you still hope? Why do you still want?

How are you going to solve a problem so big, when you don't know what is causing it? How will you be going to live on under such harsh conditions?

inability

If I could, I would force Time to step on its brakes.

Joel Yap. ( June 27, 2009)

involved

Teacher put me in charge of something to do with decorating the classroom, should I ignore her and not do anything? Or should I be involved?

I really don't feel like being a part in anything to do with school... So does it make me a hypocrite if I help out with the class decorations?

Assistant monitor.... I didn't ask for this responsibility, neither do I want it!

survived

I literally wasted 5 days in school. Sigh, one week... One whole week!!
You can say I survived la.

emo

Oh I know too well how it feels to be ignored and left alone!
Stop it! Before it is too late.

Please.

wet my bed

It is 4 in the morning and I'm on the computer. The early bird gets the Worm? Hope not.

I just peed in my pants actually, am quite frustrated about it but how can I blame anyone for this? Neither should I be blamed since it was not intentional.

After all the sighing and regretting I paused for a while and realised a truth:

I am going to turn 18 already and whether or not I want to, I am physically grown. Thus it is only right that I continue growing mentally, and spiritually. Maturity is a requisite as well as an obligation for a proper person.

So, losing control of your bladder in bed is embarrassing. What's next? Clean up!

1. I wet my bed, it may symbolise shame- something you want to cover up.
2. There was frustration and disappointment, a feeling of regret and reproach.
3. There was a choice, to sulk and go back to sleep or to get up and clean up the mess.
4. After doing either one of the above, my parents and sister will find out what happened when they wake up which will be soon. There are consequences to face, in this case, embarrassment. Yes, sometimes we will have to face the consequences even though we did the right thing.
5. When I was young I did not have to clean up after wetting the bed since my parents would do everything for me; now I am no longer young, therefore I cannot remain the same. Time to clean up my own mess.
6. Change the sheets! Replace what is dirty, and move on.
   
7. There were times when I had people looking out for me; but there are also times where I must do whatever I have to, without being a burden to those who took care of me.

Time to grow up, Mr. Joel Yap!