Doing right?

All a man’s ways seem right to him, but the LORD weighs the heart. 
Proverbs 21:2 

Nobody would mind being right, am I right? Of course I am!
Well, there are times when we are aware how not right we can be. For example, beating a red light. Fair enough, anyone who believes he is always right is only deceiving himself. But at the very least we try to convince ourselves that we are not exactly wrong, blaming people and circumstances aside. The driver behind me was driving really fast and it would have been dangerous for me to step on the brakes. The white lie I told was to protect the reputation of a friend. Adam blamed Eve for giving him the forbidden fruit when they were in Eden. Need I give you more examples?

Nobody enjoys being wrong, period. What wise words from King Solomon.
But the Lord weighs the heart. How does He do it? How can we know what are in our hearts? Even the most advanced and sophisticated medical imaging technology isn't good enough to tell you the condition of a person's heart in terms of morality. Time to be frank, we all have motives and rationales behind our every action. A person seated at close proximity to me can not quite possibly read my thoughts better than another who is a thousand miles away. Only I will know why am I acting or speaking in a certain way; perhaps even I might not always understand myself.

Conscience- something that is imprinted on the soul of every man, theists and atheists alike. Some are easily pricked by their own conscience while others may be desensitized in certain areas. Anyhow, it is up to each one to live in whatever way he or she chooses to, with conscience. All of your ways seem right to you, of course. I guess deep down, we all would probably know for ourselves most of the time if what we are doing is really right or not. It is just a matter of convincing ourselves that we are somehow right.

Actions lead to consequences, a simple truth ought to be reminded of frequently lest we start living only as we please.

My actions seem logically right in my eyes, am I too stubborn to receive correction if I were sincerely wrong? I'd love to be right all the time but am I doing right? If I stand before the Lord today and He begins to audit my life, will I be among the sheep or the goats?

Tested

I remember writing this lately, "Character is about doing what is right even when no one is watching, especially when no one is watching."

Today I had a perfect opportunity to do something really wrong, well you know, the worst sins tend to be the most satisfying ones. The circumstances were just right, no one was looking and nobody would ever be aware had I done whatever I wanted to do. Probably not even the person whom I was about to victimize!

Glad to have stood firm.

Not trying to boast in my strength here though, really wish I could turn back time and correct some mistakes made in the past. There is history that I simply can not put behind, haunting me still today.
 

Neither here nor there

Am I.

It is supposed to be my semester break. Heck, it is my semester break.
I am on a clinical posting. Complaining? No. Just observing the fact that I seem to be neither here nor there, between Malaysia and Singapore. Could have gone on a mission trip? Next time lah.

It is supposed to be my semester break. Heck, it is my semester break.
Need to make the best out of wherever I am placed then.
 

It hurts to no longer be a part of your life

Where do I go from here?

机会

用工就不必为钱太操心，是吗？？

原来努力了也会带来不一样的烦恼。
当你被带到不是一般人都有机会抵达的十字路口，你会对自己说：“要是能每条路都可以探索就好。”

机会难得的时候，钱的确能够解决一点困难。
 

Witnessing a death

For the first time in my life, as he experienced what each man can only experience once.

I looked at his eyes as he gasped for his final breaths. One hand feeling for his pulses and the other holding a stethoscope as I tried to listen for sounds from his heart and lungs.

There was means to supply the dying man with oxygen, no pipes from the walls and no tanks in the home. Contemplating whether or not to attempt my first resuscitation on the unresponsive body, I felt it was at the 95-year-old man's best interest to say goodbye to his mortal sufferings. There was more relief than sadness in me at the knowledge of his passing. Maybe because we were strangers?

Whilst cleaning and changing him for the last time, "He doesn't need to struggle anymore," I joked and a few of us chuckled.

"I'm fine!" when asked, "Joel, are you okay?"

Am I okay, after watching a man die right before my eyes, for the first time in my life?
Can I be? Will you be?

Were you?