Free food only mah!

In Kluang now.

I just came from a gathering that was held in honour and appreciation of the constituency's Member of Parliament, or the ex-MP, for that matter. The meeting was attended by quite a number of folks from the Chinese community. Simple speeches were given by a few men, after a video sharing which featured various people who talked about the good works that YB Dr. Hou has done since he was elected into Office.

I am not very learned in the Chinese culture, but I do appreciate Dr. Hou for his passion and enthusiasm in developing education in the Chinese medium. Besides, I appreciate the gentleman even more for his discretion. Please pardon my poor usage of words, it was a very long day. Dr. Hou isn't a man who goes around speaking with thorns in his words, unlike many politicians. To be frank, sometimes I fear for his political career as this virtue might make him vulnerable to his "competitors" out there, so-to-say; on both sides of the political divide.

Anyway, five short years have passed. I do not know what the next few years will be like. To be honest, I shall certainly have a hard decision to make if he were to stand for election again.

Digressed for quite a bit already, back to what this blog entry was about! The meeting ended with refreshments outside the hall. I must ask, why are Chinese people so kiasu ah?! Free food only mah, push and squeeze for what?

By the way, not uncommon among Malaysians, cellphones were ringing and their owners were answering them whilst speeches were made. Am I living in a little bubble of my own where only within it that speaking on the phone loudly in a seated crowd is considered rude?

Culture or bad habit?

1. Silence your phone during meetings
2. Queue up when food is being served

Let us be more civilized.
Wishing everyone a good weekend!

Keys in the room

今天有一个字可以形容我的心情 － 烦！
两个字也行 － 真烦！

Now living in an apartment in Penang island. Left my keys in the bedroom this morning and I cannot get into my room anymore, until the landlord shows up with spare keys, or I pay for a lock smith to come, or the door magically responds to "open sesame." Unfortunately the latter is most unlikely to happen.

So now I'm stuck outside the room, well at least I could still get into the house with the help of a good friend who kindly gave me car rides to get spare keys from the landlord's sister. What did not help so much was that the bunch of keys did not grant me access to the bedroom. Hence here am I, hanging out at a local cafe to wait for the landlord to come in the hope of him having the right key.

This forgetfulness has been an irritant for quite some time. Prior to this I had left car keys in the car, twice within the past six months! Thank God nothing bad happened during both incidents.

Just felt the need to rant this out in some way, not that I enjoy complaining.
This is not the only thing causing me frustration, ask me in person if you would be interested in lending an ear and expect to be appreciated because I do appreciate friends.

Alarm clocks

My life as a nursing student revolves around alarm clocks. The good news is, this life will not change when I am no longer a student.

So is this like a preparation to face the realities of doing shift work as a nurse? Working shifts can really affect your sleeping patterns. This week I started lying on the floor whenever I needed to wake up early the next morning. Really cannot afford to oversleep, therefore the need to set three alarms! Yes, three: my phone, iPod and the good old alarm clock; all placed near my head. This is Week 3 and I have never been late for work thus far. Besides sleep, this kind of work has an effect on social life too. It has been so frustrating for me trying to meet up with some friends, most of whom are nursing students as well.

Life, how can work not impact it? Now learning to make the best out of the spare time I can find.
I shall control my alarm clocks, not be controlled by them.

Exhausted

The adjective means very tired.

3 weeks in an Orthopaedics ward, 1 in the Operating Theatre and 1 in the Emergency Department; did I just completed these consecutive postings in the wink of an eye? Not to forget the few breaks in between postings which I appreciate. All these seemed to happen so quickly that I felt a bit breathless myself after leaving the ED. Don't get me wrong, I still enjoyed most of my clinical hours.

Running here and there, it takes up energy. Energy that youths sometimes take for granted. I never knew I would start burning out so easily, only today did I realise just how tired I had become over the past two months.

In church this morning, all I wanted was to soak in the atmosphere of music and singing, at the back of the sound mixer, doing what I love to do; I wished the singing never stopped. On the way to Singapore this evening, ironically, I wished that the journey would not end because I was in the middle of a much needed nap. Again I say, only today did I realise just how tired I had become over the past two months.

Strength to carry on come to me. Cheers to 3 weeks in a Gerontology unit.

Writing?

I enjoy doing it, but....

Don't get me wrong, I do enjoy writing. I write for various reasons- leisure, musing, critical thinking, reminding and so on. It is interesting to read what others have written as well.

But... I have been tasked to do a literature review. This is nothing like the stuff that I am used to writing! Looking for help, turning to examples of existing literature reviews, I now, can only be overwhelmed. The reading that is required prior to writing the review is crazy. I have recently completed a few academic essays and reflective reports, and I enjoyed the process of writing them; the longest document being over 2000 words. However reviewing literature is a whole new level of academic writing.

Let's see how this turns out.

That Ring

My heart dropped a little when I saw it on you,

immediately I scanned through the hands of your friends.

Alas, there was none.

Do I matter as much as you do to me?

My heart dropped a little when I saw a ring on you.

© Joel Yap

Rally vs Blood donation

Blood donation.

• It's too painful
• I'm scared of needles
• I will donate next time
• Maybe I'm underweight
• Got a lot of work to do, cannot afford to faint

Rallying.

• The government might take away my scholarship/placement in university
• Cannot risk getting arrested
• My family would be worried(not sure how true though)
•  I'll join the next time

Et cetra,  et cetra, et cetra.

The excuses reasons always seem quite valid for one who has not set his/her mind on going to participate in either of the above. I would not search the hearts of those who claim to be unable to go, because I may not like what I find. Maybe they give excuses out of fear of disappointing others? Maybe some are just too cowardly or apathetic to go, but too timid to admit it.
Of course, I am talking about rallying for a worthy cause. Not something that you disagree with.

If today you say you will go tomorrow, will you say the same thing you said today, when tomorrow comes?

Neither here nor there

Am I.

It is supposed to be my semester break. Heck, it is my semester break.
I am on a clinical posting. Complaining? No. Just observing the fact that I seem to be neither here nor there, between Malaysia and Singapore. Could have gone on a mission trip? Next time lah.

It is supposed to be my semester break. Heck, it is my semester break.
Need to make the best out of wherever I am placed then.
 

机会

用工就不必为钱太操心，是吗？？

原来努力了也会带来不一样的烦恼。
当你被带到不是一般人都有机会抵达的十字路口，你会对自己说：“要是能每条路都可以探索就好。”

机会难得的时候，钱的确能够解决一点困难。
 

Customer

It is a Sunday, but a working night for me. Felt a bit bad for not working in the past two weeks, so I stood in for another staff who apparently could not turn up this evening.

Phew! Where did all the customers today come from?? Where do all the people come from in Singapore, by the way? If I were to ever venture into a business, food will definitely come on top of my list! Sure can make money in this city state because people are everywhere and they need to eat!

Anyway I was just trying to tell you that it was a busy night at the cafe. That, I can live with. However there was this couple who walked in just a minute before our last order, who really got my attention. The man ordered soft-boiled eggs which were what the pantry prepared for him. When I served it to him, he looked at me with an attitude and demanded for a replacement because one of the egg yolks were broken. I was like.... "What??! You're gonna eventually break both of the yolks, aren't ya? Why change?!" and "Hello, the staff who prepared these eggs was kind enough to break open the shells for you, take for granted ah?" but I relented anyhow. The customer had a right, my colleagues agreed. For those who are interested to know, he and the lady with him behaved like a king and a queen throughout their dinner and they were the last to leave the cafe. I was almost done mopping the floors by the time their royal buttocks got out.

Sigh, you have your rights as a consumer lah! But do you mind having some manners as a human ah?

看照片

宁静的夜晚，我还不想睡。 享用一杯茶，用多余的时间 在两个屏幕上看看这个月所拍的照片。

感恩；却有点心酸。好想再次回到拍摄的景点和时间 从新把照片拍过。想拍得更好，其实是能拍得更好的。每次都期待拍摄，准备工作都有做好。可是每当拍摄的时光来临 反而觉得害怕，什么都不敢拍！担心自己不够好。因为没经验，因为不比别人厉害。有些人的照相器材比我的简单，拍出来的效果却好像比我的好很多。我有相机 但没天份。


我学摄影好辛苦。喜欢拍人，但是不敢拍。


宁静的夜晚，我还不想睡。 享用一杯茶，用多余的时间 在两个屏幕上看看这个月所拍的照片。
好想以后把照片拍得更好！

心有余而信心不足。

 

老师说

害人之心不可有，防人之心不可无。

出外靠朋友。


朋友- 是什么？ 于钱比，朋友的地位在哪里？

 老师说：“害人之心不可有。”

世界啊！我活在这已快心灰意冷。
耶和华，来拯救世人！ 我求祢！
 

God is Effecient

Do you know the joy of receiving a message from a best friend? Close but living far away. I had been blessed to have received a few recently. And in that string of messages I lamented that life had become a little too peaceful for me, comparing the challenges I face today relative to that of when I first started college.

Incidentally, not long after my friend and I stopped messaging, hurdles and hurdles began showing up in my path! And the challenges seem so hard to overcome, instantly robbing me off my already weakened willpower and determination to solve problems. Life had become easy, and now it has to become much harder now just because I took notice of the risks of falling into complacency? Why me? And why now? I have to ask.

Sigh, me and my big mouth. Discuss about life lacking challenges as before, forgetting that God is omnipresent.

If God is so efficient in providing mountains for me to climb when I felt bored of walking on even terrain, surely He is good and fair to provide me the strength to conquer these mountains. And am I writing this sentence because He is omni present? Haha! Well, we are purposed for His pleasure, are we not? But the question is, why do I seem to please Him more in my periods of distresss?
 

才不需要你!

万事起头难，幸亏有你助我。 万分感恩。 不知道该如何回报。
日子久了，路好走了。我甚至过得比你好！
从今 以后  不需要你了！

你做好事 不求回报。
我只是在随你。
难道 这不是你所愿？
 

Sleep

Now is coming to the middle of a night.

I don't understand. I had been feeling the moods during the week, a little grumpy thanks to being deprived of sleep. I don't understand me- because now I can sleep; but here I am still up.

Editing some photos taken by a few college mates. One by one, by one, by one. They seem to be very good at photography albeit the lack of technical knowledge and familiarity related to camera controls. Looks like the little experience I have doesn't make me any better. Apparently, owning a camera doesn't necessarily make you a good photographer. This I agree.

Now is coming to the middle of the night. I don't understand me. Joel, time for bed.

Helpless

I am not the one drowning, but feel helpless to see a brother in the water. Struggling to survive and grasping for air. He cannot see the light; and I feel helpless.

Try to recall, were there times when you just feel the desperation for another? Yet you have no idea at all on how to help.

I am not the one in need, someone else is in difficulty; I have absolutely no will to look him in the eyes and say, "it will be okay" despite having faith that things are going to turn out fine in the end. My belief, and faith are mine to share; but at this moment in time it seems a little cruel to do so. Am feeling like such a failure as a friend.

You're on a mountain top, and your friend is in a valley. And you feel helpless, how?

Today, my heart sank. Overwhelmed by uncertainties of the future, of another person.
Standing on higher ground can still suck after all. Because you might be useless to the person(s) below.

Prayer and perseverance

It gets difficult to pray when you are faced with disappointment time and time again. It never was easy too, when people aren't really standing with you. People who are skeptical, indifferent or afraid. Or perhaps more conservative.

It tends to feel hopeless, it doesn't look good. You are tempted to curse, complain, and give up thereafter. You feel angry, you see your frustrations and sometimes tears.

Deep inside, you believe anyway how this will eventually end. You just want to know how soon.
If you should ever have children, you want the best for them. Who wouldn't?
So you shall fervently pray. That your children as well as of those whom you care about, shall be able to grow up with good-quality education.
 

原来如此

我们都是同国人。跟我住，大家一起省钱。
你们原肯挤进来 目的只是要便宜？

看不见我的好意？不晓得我的痛楚？不理解我的宽容？
难道说，与我同住 真的这么不开心吗？

All the best

"All the best!"
"Hey, so-and-so, all the best!"
"Take care, all the best!"

Blah, blah, blah... Aku tak faham. I don't understand why some people use the phrase "all the best" without stating for what or in what. Worse still, they do so so often.

Bodoh, rite? I do not mean any offense though. But we better understand what we are speaking.

Cholerics vs. Phlegmatics

Cholerics get frustrated when they don't get what they want;

Phlegmatics get frustrated over not knowing what they want.

Joel Yap