irrational?

Today my sister stayed back after school to take some photos with a few friends for her moral project, I lent her my old camera.
About an hour ago she came home and I checked the photos, all I saw were photos of her friends(two girls) and some flowers. Elaine said they had to rush off for duty at the school library and could not help to take photos of her. Ok here's the clearer picture, my sister brought the camera but didn't have any pictures of herself taken. This doesn't sound right at all. Looks like the two girls were just using Elaine and worse still, they want the photos tomorrow! This is outrageous!
I was so furious that I was ready to confront and scold those girls, because Elaine was being used by them.
So this was my plan:

1. Develop the photos
2. Go to Convent after school tomorrow and wait by the gate to meet the two girls
   
3. Charge the girls double for the photos
4. Scold them and warn them not to bully Elaine, loudly in the presence of other students

Yes, I am always ready to protect my sister. I never want anybody to take advantage of her!


BUT, all the images were lost suddenly. I went to a camera shop only to find out that the memory card became empty.
Maybe God took away the images to punish those girls; maybe He did it to stop me from going to the school shouting at Elaine's friends.

After cooling down, now I ask myself:
Was I too irrational?

not good enough?

People have been asking me about my plans for future studies. I usually answer them this, "erm...dunno, form 6 loh" And sometimes after saying this, adults will give me a kind of look and tell me Form 6 is very tough, then some might ask, "you can take it ah? better prepare to work hard"
Hmmmm.... On one hand I appreciate their concern and advice. But on the other, I can't help but to sense that some of them MIGHT be looking down on me. Well, ok la I know Form 6 is very difficult, too much to study in such little time. I really doubt if I would survive and do well in STPM since I was(perhaps still am) never serious in studies.

Form 6 will be different, and difficult. I may not have what it takes, or I may. The only way is to try loh....Choice made already, I am truly truly truly grateful to be so blessed in the sense that many had gone through this path and therefore are able to give me advice.

love?

People are influenced by people and situations, so am I.
Having been through secondary school life for 5 years and NS for 3 months, I witnessed many boy-girl relationships blooming as well as breaking. And I don't deny that I am somehow affected and influenced.

Affected- I've seen various people having various attitudes toward BGR. Sometimes I respect those who can really put their partners above themselves yet without letting BGR affect their academical performances; but it makes me sick to see others regard BGR as a game, their partners are just a 'play thing' to them!
Being aware that there are MANY different types of girls out there, sometimes I have a hope of meeting one who is perfect for me; however sometimes I become discouraged because it seems like as if none of them are suitable.

Influenced- I think I've been having slight desires to be attached as well... Haha! Those little thoughts of being in a BGR creep into my mind when I see couples so happily in love. It's like so nice la...to have someone to confide in and share problems with. It's such a special relationship, it definitely is, with no secrets between each other.



Being in love? It seems so sweet... Even I myself feel like wanting to get married, especially when I look at wedding photos and family photos!
Well, I still wish to stay single because the commitment (some might call it burden) is no joking matter. I don't believe in divorce, so have to be very very very careful. But if ever I enter a BGR and walk into marriage with her, I want to make sure it is happy. And to make sure that it'll be happy then, I must keep myself pure now. In order to enjoy sex fully, the way God intended it to be enjoyed, one must keep his/her body pure before marriage. Otherwise the thrill and excitement wouldn't be as fun already.

Besides that, the apostle Paul said that men are to love their wives just as Christ loves the church. So a man must love his wife to the extend of being willing to sacrifice his life for her. Will I be able to stand the test? Will I prove myself worthy of her submission? Dying for a person, how many people are capable of that?

Oh, here are two teachings that I agree with very much!

1. Commitment comes before intimacy.
2. Learn to love your mother and sister(s) before even thinking that you are capable of loving a person as your wife.
   

dream broken

I had just declined the course Nanyang Polytechnic offered me, it was the course of my first choice, the one I wanted so much- Diploma in Nursing.

Clicking on 'decline' followed by 'confirm' was painful alright.

Well, no more contemplating and headach-ing.
Now the path is clearer, less options. No more options in fact, apart from Form 6.
However, this path will lead to even more options. Sigh, let tomorrow worry about itself la!

something to remember

Don't expect anything in return when you love and care for others, because you will easily become disappointed.

Only one life,
’Twill soon be past;
Only what’s done
for Christ will last.